Posthumous Release

by Coma Cinema

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1.
laughin' broken glass talkin' til my head hurts vhs white trash smiling see you later crashing through the void remembering my family apologies unfold into flowers of humanity closer than before on the edge of being the same fuck up as before dying in a secret sick refusing sleep childhood hides in dreams somewhere out of reach safe from all bad feelings come downs wearin' out all that blood and guts your guilt is gonna put you down while you're begging for forgiveness mercy kill the past descending from heaven vhs white trash demonic possessions in her dying words as her tape is rotting vhs white trash gives you one more problem a poison afterlife but that's her trip not mine forgive me when i die bury me inside your life my little white trash vhs
2.
judgement see me dead speak her name so softly in my head her weariness is mine she keeps it alive the curse that summoned me is coughing up dull praises for her grief i gaze into her eyes she keeps it alive blacked out drawing blood bad intentions tearing out my guts pointless sacrifice she keeps it alive cut myself at work walked outside forgot about the world weakness rot me wild she keeps it alive
3.
Bailey Jay 02:25
bailey jay promises made to bring me down to what i am now vicious dreams carve out your name endlessly in touch with one another's pain we don't know how to love we don't know how bailey jay dead ambitions bear the weight of everything you've ever done use my needs turn to desire honestly bleeds and blurs between us all the time we don't know how to love we don't know how
4.
our ugly symmetry meant everything to me but after all this time it's come to mean nothing and my wrists somehow forgot that quiet parking lot or one year later on your roof top
5.
caving to a feeling cave in to my mind satan made a mansion for our love to live when it dies confess me to a graveyard quit fucking with my mind hold me for forever eyes prettier than suicide caving to a feeling cave in to my mind satan made a mansion for our love to live when it dies fuck me in the graveyard confessions always in my mind keep them for forever eyes prettier than suicide
6.
innocent, her tiny wrists are tying down an endlessness lingering in an abyss a broken heart cannot resist a buried past is flowering around the church of suffering don't let it in lost within our hotel room i kiss your neck and leave a bruise time drags me away from you but won't put me down or cut me loose a buried past is flowering around the church of suffering don't let it in we'll never ride their prison line
7.
dig her don't you just dig her? bite down draw blood from your sister satan kisses me gently get real you'll fall for anything dig her my dead first girlfriend bite down soak these little problems satan wake me in the morning get real kill me whenever you want to i want you i want you to
8.
Virgin Veins 02:35
what a drag beautiful and sad a graveyard on the sun fucking up you just self destruct abandoned and undone the heart is a monument to a childhood of abuse a quiet suffering that knows no one wants you so lonely so ugly and confused virgin veins hold the rushing pain of a past that cannot die crippling everything in cages of desire the heart is a monument to a childhood of abuse a quiet suffering that knows no one wants you so lonely so ugly and confused
9.
expectations weigh on me to satisfy these endless needs and i don't care and i don't know why maybe i'm no good inside all this wasted time to see your fucked up life become mine all these thoughts just won't be still i bless my habit, pray to pills i can't be part of your life until i know how to die all this wasted time to see your fucked up life become mine fake flowers begin to wilt in this house my heart had built to keep me far away from us i know i'm not brave enough keep me far away from us i'll never be brave enough all this wasted time to see your fucked up life become mine
10.
terrified sunlight rising in your eyes never wanted to try your first boyfriend died spirits still rip through your mind you can leave this world behind but when you do be kind to me marie, no sleep come on rock the void lonely and so paranoid put me in my place put me in my place your first boyfriend died spirits still rip through your mind you can leave this world behind but when you do be kind to me marie, no sleep
11.
dust breathed in stuck pacing the ground holding on to what you found once the clock can't remember everything the clock i've never known someone who wasn't lonely no one has ever known me no one our old man says he's living in hell well you checked yourself in you can check yourself out i was born knowing one thing i was born maybe it's just how you think your grand misperception through your mass coloring you can't hide what you don't show i feel you breaking from deep below a saint now in the same dream a saint

about

recorded in los angeles, california
dedicated to lee pennington

credits

released June 11, 2013

produced and engineered by jason and brad from tv girl
mastered by warren hildebrand
"Posthumous Release" adapted from "hmm...I Was Born" written by justin blackburn and noel thrasher
everything else written by mathew lee cothran



cover photo by diana kingsbury

thanks to all those who kept me alive and going these past miserable little years.

and the biggest thanks of all goes to rachel levy, my sister and best friend

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