Loss Memory

by Coma Cinema

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1.
Eventually 03:06
as my whole world comes down around me show me no pity as i ease into a suicidal laughter with the setting sun, my father's gun is whispering and as my family dies from cancer i am teary-eyed and weak i'm not weary of disasters the end is numb, for everyone, eventually and as my friendships are decaying and we're all waking from the dream this dying day just ain't worth saving so i hide away, in my poison brain, trying to sleep
2.
Loss Memory 01:47
how do i wake up? how do i get free? tethered to an anchor of loss memory dreaming so long dreaming so lonely i get a phone call, no one's on the line i take in their silence and say my goodbyes dreaming so long dreaming so lonely
3.
Phillip 02:14
i woke up so tired drag me through the light i've been alone for so long hello sad world take me in, let me know i've been alone for so long i'm through begging off an eternity of loss i've been alone for so long so long
4.
Tether 03:28
i'm the fucked up kid in school dead in the eyes of the rules i got sent home for throwing up my friends think being sick is cool and my dad beat up my mom because she's an alcoholic but he's an alcoholic too through the looking glass of abuse i want to sleep next to you after school before my mom calls to see when i'm coming home i can finally see where the tether ends mortally coiled around nothingness i'm the fucked up kid in school maybe i'll join the army no one will ever know me truly my rage has silenced a cry for help my mom's dealer put a gun to my head for a laugh, for his friends and in that moment i knew i could kill my mother's prison is herself i want to sleep next to you after school before my mom calls to see when i'm coming home i can finally see where the tether ends mortally coiled around nothingness
5.
Thunder 02:38
can you face me? i already know the answer if it's over, let's go our separate ways when the thunder calls to me then i'll come over i am waiting with an open mind i am drawn to the mirror in a dull revulsion i forgive you but i do not know why
6.
ambrosia in the bitter world i cling to your light to keep from sinking down the clouds rip open and the rain reaches out to the people who just want to drown and now my heart aches but it keeps pounding to crush my little world and leave me dreaming in endless silence, only of you ambrosia i was once a little girl, i was twisted into what i am now my heart is open but i don't know how to reach out and be a person so i up and drown and now my heart aches but it keeps pounding to crush my little world and leave me dreaming in endless silence, only of you ambrosia
7.
Burden 03:04
when you get off work come by my house, and lay your burden down may the world the keep spinning until it spirals out lay your burden down my mom's gone to california they got a treatment center there my mom had a fucked up childhood that's the burden that we both bear lay your burden down i quit drinking, but i still smoke, lay your burden down carried down a highway with nowhere else to go lay your burden down my mom's gone to california they got a treatment center there my mom had a fucked up childhood that's the burden that we both bear lay your burden down
8.
traffic lights turning blue everyone that we burn through only me and you, queen of booze ain't no furniture in our house no screaming and fighting anymore the living room turns blue we're both sleeping on the floor i want to be an engine running wide open running wide open until i can't run no more living with one eye closed and one eye on the cage door everyday is the day that i'll die and be afraid no more when dad found out about where we were hiding out he came down like a sea of rage, crashing onto the shore i want to be an engine running wide open running wide open until i can't run no more i let the years go by, i let no one know what's inside my broken heart keeps a beat just fine i don't want to die no more i see my future and my past all at once in a lightning flash all you can do is laugh until you just can't no more i want to be an engine running wide open running wide open until i can't run no more i want to be an engine running wide open running wide open until i can't run no more
9.
Window 02:41
closing my eyes when i drive back in my hometown, past every bar i've been thrown out i can't make it to class so i'm drunk in my car i can't roll my window up the glass is stuck in the door at home there's blood on my bed and no running water there is a room i don't go in i see myself through the door me and my mom used to hide there crying our prayers through a window a fig tree covered in water holds the moonlight like a prison
10.
Sad World 02:41
rot me around your sword, paint me wet i don't want to dry out just yet rot me alcoholic womb, i want to burn my way through this world consumed with you i've got a bad idea let's lose our minds in love with bad ideas so long sad world, goodbye peeling back the skin, i want to see the mask you wear within, beneath your eyes gnawing at your mind i want to wither away in your love until i die i've got a bad idea let's lose our minds in love with bad ideas so long sad world, goodbye

about

this is the final record from the project "coma cinema". it's been a trip. thank you to everyone who listened. you were the guiding light calling me home.

this album is dedicated to ryan wilson

credits

released December 8, 2017

all songs written by mathew lee cothran
produced by erik phillips, and mathew lee cothran
recorded at home in beautiful Asheville, North Carolina.

mastered by bill henderson
cover art by mathew lee cothran and cayenne elizabeth jade henderson

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